Who's Sad?

When Brian Williams came on the television to announce that Michael Jackson had died, I admit it...I cried. My husband looked at me like I was nuts, but it was a gut reaction. Sure, I'm pumped full of hormones, but even so, I was sad.

I first fell in love with his music in the fifth grade with the release of Billie Jean - they played the video on the debut of Friday Night Videos and I will never forget sneaking to stay up late so that I could see it. I received Thriller on cassette as a gift for my birthday and played it until it fell apart. I had a crappy tape recorder and used to bring it to school with me. As a Safety Patrol, I would blare it from my post. I played it on the bus ride home. I played it on my way home from the bus stop. I played it in my room after dinner. I played it in the morning getting ready for school.

Another kid on my bus, Ryan, had the Off The Wall cassette. He sat in the last seat on the left with his little brother and I sat on the last seat on the right with my little sister. We would take turns playing our respective Michael Jackson tapes. The other kids all wanted to sit close to us so they could listen. We ruled the bus that year.

None of the scandals really made me question my loyalty to his music. Did I think he was strange? Yes, but his personal life had no bearing on the fact that he was a musical genius. Do I think he molested kids? Actually, no. I think he was just a lost soul with mental problems who, in his mind, was still 10 years old. I think people took advantage of that to make money, which is sad. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but he was never convicted and his interviews always seemed very genuine to me. I don't think he had the mental capacity to be malicious. He was just a really messed up person. The plastic surgeries were another indication that something was very wrong. Had he just stopped with the first nose job, he would have lived his life as an attractive black man and not the monstrosity he became. Something was surely missing.

As to his death, it's tragic. What's really tragic to me over everything else though is that all of the sudden, everyone is buying his albums, playing his videos, and talking about how gifted he was. Yes, we are supposed to do those things with someone of his talent dies, but my point is that it is too bad we couldn't appreciate him in this way while he was alive. I am guilty of this as well. I broke out all of my old faves and listened to them all the way to Jacksonville and back last night.

My top 10 faves of all time:

1. Off The Wall
2. Rock with You
3. PYT
4. Human Nature
5. Billie Jean
6. Thriller
7. In the Closet
8. Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
9. Beat It
10. Black or White