The Diet I Swore I'd Never Do...

My NY resolutions haven't gone according to plan...at least not when it comes to weight loss. I have been working out more, which I am very happy about, but the weight wasn't coming off. Soooo, when my husband mentioned he was going to start the Atkins Diet, I agreed to do it with him.

I have always been against the Atkins...partly because I'm just not that into meat. Also partly, because I've been a staunch supporter of the "Diets Don't Work" movement. Desperate times call for desperate measures though, so here I am.

I am currently on Day 5 and have lost around 3 pounds. Not an astronomical amount, but it is the difference between a comfortable size 6 and a "hope they don't rip" size 6. What has impressed me with the diet is how quickly I stopped craving sweets and all things carb. Additionally, I feel more at ease...not constantly thinking about what I'm going to eat next or stressing about things I can't control. I think the best way to describe it is "even-keeled."

We will see how the next week or so goes once I finish the 2-week induction. I have a feeling though that I will stay on it through the other three phases and see if I can maintain a low carb lifestyle for as long as possible. Who would have thunk it?!?

Aches and Pains

So in August, we bought a new house. As far as I am concerned, I could live here until I am 99 and a half - it makes me that happy. The only problem (besides the white kitchen counters that are impossible to keep clean) is the fact that the house has travertine flooring throughout (except in the bedrooms).

Don't get me wrong...it's beautiful! The problem is that it is wreaking havoc on my bones. All those car accidents from back in my teens and 20s have caught up to me and I feel like I actually am 99 and a half. I can't walk on it with bare feet because I have two neuromas in each of my feet, which I am being treated for - again - with alcohol injections in the nerves (pain you cannot fathom). So most of the time I am either in ugly-ass crocs or orthopedic flip-flops.

I think back to the days when I used to be able to jump out of bed and have energy to go straight to the gym. Not anymore. I get out of bed, put on my shoes, and walk around like an old lady until my joints loosen up.

I am hoping that getting back in the gym and weight training will help. I am too young to feel this old and I really don't look good in crocs.

2012 Resolutions

Let's see how many of these I can break in the first week. In all seriousness, there are a lot of things I need to change and now is as good a time as any...

• Lose 10 pounds. Ugh, I hate to even admit it out loud that I have let myself go, but I have. Not sure why, really, but since July I have gained at least 10 pounds. Emotional eating is the most likely culprit, paired with the fact that my feet are so bad that I can't do cardio at the moment. Feet are undergoing treatment and hope for that to change soon.
• Exercise at least 3 days a week. I am an all or nothing person for the most part, so this will be hard for me. I know I can do it though.
• Live in the moment. I spend a lot of time thinking about the future and that what-ifs. I need to spend more time being and less time thinking. I know that if I can do that, I will enjoy life more.
• Spend less money. Okay, so this has been a resolution of mine for years and I've never really been conservative about the way I spend money. The problem is that my husband has become less conservative over the years as well. We need to tighten up. I am going to try to take the words, "It's only x dollars" out of my repertoire.
• Keep juicing. I never feel healthier than when I juice regularly. Lately, I've been doing it about 3x a week - would like to increase that if I can find the time.
• Feed the kids healthier foods. It's tough working full time and trying to get them to eat what they are supposed to and not junk. Especially when J refuses to eat ANYTHING green. I am going to have to break out Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook, methinks.
• Cook more often. I started baking over the holidays and for the first time ever, had a few successes. It made me realize that I actually enjoy baking. Maybe I will like to cook as well. I think I am finally ready to learn.
• Attend church (on days that are not Easter and Christmas). When I was a kid, I loved going to church. My parents didn't go, so my Sunday school teacher would come and pick me up. Since we are getting close to when J will need to attend CCD, it's time to get back into it, though we will likely have to sit in the crying room for awhile.

I think this is enough for now, though there are other things I'm sure I could improve upon.

Happy New Year!

Not SAHM Material

S attends a home daycare, which has been great. When he was attending the big daycare center, the poor kid was sick all of the time and since we switched in June, he's only been sick once. What sucks is that she takes the week between Christmas and New Years off. Even worse, my mom doesn't help out with the kids anymore, my babysitter is visiting family out of state, and my mother-in-law hurt her back.

The good thing about this is that I have been able to spend time with the boys. I love my boys. They are absolutely delicious when they are good. Usually when they are home though, they are fighting and whining. I can handle a little of this, but after 4 days, I am done.

This makes me feel very guilty, I can assure you. I happened to open a magazine and read a story about a boy receiving palliative care because it's inevitable he will die. I bawled like a baby and considered myself so very lucky to have two healthy children. And then J screams at me because he lost at Super Mario Brothers that "it's all my fault" because I was talking to S...or some crazy nonsense like that and the moment is gone.

I always daydreamed about being a SAHM. Now I know that I could never do it full-time (though part-time would be great). Maybe it's because I'm not structured enough during the day with them. Maybe I would run a tighter ship if I had to do it all of the time, I don't know. All I know is that I am definitely not SAHM material, regardless of how much I love my children. I have great appreciation for SAHMs everywhere - it is indeed the hardest job anyone can undertake.

A Wrinkle in Time

There have been millions of times when I have said, "I need to update my blog" since the last time I actually did, but alas, I can never get to the computer to do so when it's on my mind. Today though, I was actually at the computer so I can finally post something when I actually have something to say.

I turned 38 a few weeks ago and I kid you not, the second I did it was like God flipped a switch on my face and I am developing wrinkles at a rapid pace. What kills me is that I've spent thousands of dollars over time to take care of my skin - creams, serums, facials, etc. and my skin is no better than my husband's - also 38 - who does none of these things (thank God, or we'd be broke).

For my class reunion earlier this year, I tried Botox. Loved the effects it had on my forehead, until I forgot to tell my acupuncturist about it and she stuck needles there. Apparently, acupuncture draws out toxins. Who knew?!? I had them add some under and around my eyes and wasn't happy with the results but somehow made it to the reunion looking halfway decent. Still, I think I'm too young to become a Botox junkie. Maybe I should try another doctor?

An hour after I had my first Botox treatment, I looked in the mirror and noticed that one eyelid was drooping lower than the other. I freaked out (did you happen to see the episode of Modern Family where Al Bundy gets Botox?) and called the plastic surgeon's office. They said it couldn't have been from the Botox that soon...and they were right. Six months later and I still have it. My neurologist ran all kinds of diagnostic tests (blood work, MRI, MRA, etc.) and all came back negative for a medical cause. It very likely was from the Topamax I was taking for my migraines.

So here I am with a deep wrinkle in my chin, one starting on my nose, crepey skin under my eyes, major smile lines and ptosis of the eyelid. I am regretting every day I went out in the sun with baby oil and iodine in my teenage years and every second I spent in tanning beds in my 20s to look hot for a night out or a special occasion.

I guess I should be grateful that I've made it to 38, considering all of the stupid things I did in my youth. And I suppose I should be thrilled that visits to the dermatologist have not yet turned up squamous or melanoma skin cancers. But tell that to my vanity gene. All it cares about are the wrinkles.

Sigh.

Disney Karma

About a month ago, I decided to take J to Disney World. My place of employment offers discounted tickets (you save around $27), so I bought a ticket for myself there. I decided I was going to be sneaky and get J in as a child under 3 because a) he's small for his age, b) they charge almost as much as an adult ticket for a 4-year old, and c) we don't go there very often. I figured it would be a piece of cake because I'd be going straight in without having to stop and buy a ticket.

Disney Karma is a bitch, my friend...as I forgot my ticket and had to buy one for myself anyhow. Still, I refused to buy a ticket for J (and they are not allowed to ask how old your child is if there is any doubt that they could be under 3)...and actually, I didn't feel guilty about it because I ended up buying two tickets anyhow.

We went to the Magic Kingdom and had a fabulous time.

As the weeks passed, I couldn't just throw away a perfectly good $60 ticket to Disney, so I decided to bring J back - this time taking him to Animal Kingdom. I made sure I did not forget my ticket and away we went one bright, sunny Wednesday morning.

We got up to the turnstile and I put my ticket in the machine. The lady shook her head and said, "No, no. This ticket has already been used." I started to argue with her...I was incredulous. "What?!? No! There is no way!" Then, I looked at the ticket...it was the one I had bought a few weeks earlier at the Magic Kingdom. D'oh!

So, back I went to the ticket booth to buy another ticket. This time, the nice lady talked me into buying a 4-park pass (good through May 26) and even let me know that I could upgrade to an annual weekday pass for about $35 more.

So the following Sunday, I convinced hubby to come with me to bring J and S to Epcot. He used my $60 ticket and I used a punch on the 4-park pass (2 more to go now). All we did while we were there was eat (and eat and eat and eat).

Trust me, even if my 4-year old is getting in for free, Disney Karma has seen to it that Disney is getting paid. Disney always gets paid! And I'm sure I'll be going back and upgrading my ticket to the weekday annual pass. By the end of the year, I'll be wearing Minnie ears and a lanyard with pins as I stroll through the park with the rest of the freaks (just kidding - I would never do that)!

Allergies!

So far this week is a vast improvement upon the last - knock on wood!!! The boys are healthy, and for me, that means everything.

Hubby left the windows open on Saturday though and the pollen is kicking my ass. He has been blessed without seasonal allergies, so my love just doesn't understand my suffering. I was up all night coughing up green aliens and have an annoying cough that makes people scoot away from me as though I have the plague.

I think the Spring makes me more miserable than any other season for this reason...for one, it's beautiful outside and with daylight savings, there is time to go outside and enjoy the weather; but, it's like the devil offering an apple because as soon as I do, I am suffering.

Signed,
Can't wait for Summer!

Week from Hell

Let me share a little about my week from hell...

Last Friday, S. was diagnosed with Hand, Foot, & Mouth Disease...

Saturday, J. was diagnosed with it.

Sunday, J. developed painful blisters in his mouth and wouldn't eat or drink anything - this lasted through Wednesday.

Monday, I developed blisters in my mouth.

Tuesday, I took him to the doctor and in addition to HF&M Disease, she said she thought he might also have Fifth Disease.

Wednesday, S. came down with another fever so I brought him to the doctor. He was diagnosed with pink eye, an upper respiratory infection, and an ear infection. He was prescribed antibiotics (for the second time in 2 weeks), a steroid, and nebulizer treatments daily for the next few weeks with pumocort and albuterol.

Thursday, I finally got J. to school, but kept S. home with me. When attempting to take his temperature, he scratched the white of my left eye - HARD! Pain like I've not experienced in a long time! My doctor called in a script for hydrocodone for pain and antibiotic eye drops. After taking 3x the recommended dose of hydrocodone, I was able to finally sleep without pain.

This morning, the kids seemed to feel better so they went to school. I went to the opthamologist and was diagnosed with a corneal abrasion. In addition to the drops, I also have to take an antibiotic ointment - in my eye.

This evening, S. developed slapped cheeks and is starting to get a rash on his legs -- he also has a low-grade fever. Logic tells me that it's Fifth Disease.  Yes, it's mild, but c'mon now! Enough is enough!

Trying to figure out where all of this bad karma is coming from...thinking it might have something to do with me being a brat when I was a kid. If so, I'm screwed.

Wow, Long Time!

I have to apologize for taking such a long hiatus from my blog. Life has just been absolutely insane...today is no exception, but I decided to sit down and write something anyhow.

Update from August: my cousin (see previous post) is going to have a healthy baby boy on Monday morning. I couldn't be happier for her and her (now) fiance.

This cold and flu season has been very rough on us, which is the main reason for my lack of blogging. S. has been sick with RSV, ear infections, coxsackie virus, pink eye, upper respiratory infections, and stomach bugs. When he is home with me (which is at least 6 working days out of every month), it's hard to get work done, which means work is reserved for night. Exhausting, but necessary. J. has been healthy, save for this past week when he came down with coxsackie virus and herpeangina. Fun!

In other news, S. turned one last month. You would think, considering that he is always sick, that he would be a scrawny little thing, but not my boy! He loves food...LOVES it! He currently weighs in at close to 26 pounds and wears some clothes that are 2T. He can even fit into J.'s 3T-4T pull-ups when I am in a pinch. He just started walking though, so I expect him to slim down some soon.

I'm sure there is lots more I could share...and I promise I will soon. Hubby and J. just got home though, so it's time to get back to work! These kids, they are slavedrivers!

Sometimes, Miracles Happen!

Last week, my cousin (who is like a sister to me), called me up to tell me that she was pregnant. Mind you, she has an 18-year-old daughter and thought she was finished having babies. She also recently got divorced and has only been seeing her boyfriend since December, so she really wasn't all that ready to be making life plans with him. At least not just yet. So she was a little distraught and confused.

The following day, she saw her cardiologist (she has to see him because she got mono last year and had some long-term affects from it). He basically told her to have an abortion because he wasn't going to take her off her meds and he felt it was too risky.

That night, she was in a lot of pain, so she went to the ER. They did an ultrasound and told her that there was no heartbeat and that the baby was just a mass of cells. She went the next morning to her OB and he scheduled a D&C for this coming Thursday.
She started having really bad pains again last night, so she went to back to the ER - she called me this morning to tell me that they did another ultrasound and there IS a heart beat and the baby looks perfectly healthy! When she had the ultrasound last week, they were looking at a fibroid, and it was too early to detect a heartbeat yet!

Thank God she went in last night, or she would have had the D&C and never would have known that she had a healthy, growing baby inside of her, who wanted to be born!
She has decided to keep the baby despite her cardiologist's advice, and is just going to have to take it easy.
 
I will be praying for her, as this likely won't be an easy pregnancy, but certainly one that was meant to be!