When I was in the 5th grade, I was best friends with this girl, Monica and on Friday nights, I usually spent the night at her house. On one particular Friday night, she received a phone call from her boyfriend, Brandon (see previous ASOTW). They started talking and she told him I was there. He said to tell me hi and the next thing I knew, Monica was asking him if he'd like to be boyfriend to BOTH of us. He said, "sure," I said, "sure," and the next thing I knew, I was in my first and only 3-way relationship.
Being that it was the 5th grade, this was a completely innocent thing. For my 11th birthday, my mom took the three of us rollerskating and shopping. While shopping, Monica and Brandon shoplifted all kinds of birthday presents for me, including the 45 singles of Maneater and Mickey, my two favorite songs at the time. I didn't steal anything myself, having learned from my Pac-man puffy sticker ordeal just a year earlier...so you can rest assured that I was on my best behavior. Receiving stolen goods is different than stealing them yourself, right?!?
Not soon after my birthday, Monica decided that she didn't want to go out with Brandon anymore. That meant that I had him all to myself. We went on our first date at Christmastime...his mom took us to see "A Christmas Story." We held hands in the theatre. On Christmas day, my mom took me over to Brandon's house for brunch -- I gave him a 45 of Cum on Feel the Noize and he gave me a stuffed monkey. Oh, young love!
Believe it or not, our relationship lasted for 5 whole months. He decided to break up with me on Valentine's Day, which I thought was pretty harsh. From that point on, we absolutely loathed each other. Not knowing what bad words meant, my demeaning name for him was "slut" and his for me was "fag." He threatened to beat me up on the playground after I called him up and told him that I flushed his monkey down the toilet. Actually, I gave it away to a girl in my neighborhood, though I wished I'd kept it because it was super cute. Alas, it likely contributed to my fondness for all things monkey.
Brandon and I became friends again in the 8th grade, but for many years prior, I was probably known by him as the fag who flushed his monkey down the toilet.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
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6 comments:
45??? What is this "45" of which you speak?!?!? *wink* HAHAHAHA! Just kidding. The scary thing is, my baby brother (now 17) has no idea what a 45 is. Oh sure, he knows what a record is, but he couldn't tell you the difference between an LP and a 45. Scary, huh?? Oh, and I didn't realize 3D ultrasounds weren't very expensive. They just weren't an option with Grace; I didn't even know they existed till after she was born!
I can hear it now, "Monica, Alicia and Brandon, sittin' in a tree..." My favorite part is (are? neither one sounds right, but I thing it's "is") the bad words you called each other!
Great story, Fag.
We always thought that FAG was an acronym for Female Ass Grabber. How funny is that?!?
I especially liked your conclusion. Too funny.
That's just too funny! One of these days, you should let me borrow a ASOTW so I have something intersting to post on my diary page!
xoxo
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