After today, I will only have one more week left of maternity leave before I go back to work...sigh.
I honestly don't know how on earth I'm going to work from home and take care of J. People always talk about it like it's the greatest thing, but honestly, I don't know how I'm going to be able to focus on work when all I want to do is hold my little munchkin.
I'm going to have to work out some kind of a flex schedule with my boss because there is no way I will be able to sit at the computer and work from 9-5 or 8-4. I'm going to have to take frequent breaks to tend to him and my husband won't always be around to help.
There is one job my husband is vying for that would keep us in this area (which isn't my first choice, but is an option), but that pays beaucoup bucks. That could offer me the opportunity to go part-time, where there would be less expectation on me.
If, on the other hand, we do move back to our "hometown," my boss wants me back in the office. I just don't know if I could do it. In a way, it would be good because it would give me a separation of work and family...which I won't have if I'm home all day. On the other hand, I'm terrified to miss all of those amazing "firsts" that babies have. We would have my mother-in-law available to watch him all day, but again, I would be missing a lot.
We're still in limbo over everything, but the one thing that is certain is that my "vacation" ends on the 28th.
Can I cry now?
The musings of a working mom trying to get back in shape
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6 comments:
It's your party... you can cry if you want to.
A suggestion: maybe you should do the stay at home thing until he's about 2. Then from there maybe you'd feel less "guilty" about missing important milestones. Just a thought.
I am confident that you'll make the best choice for you, Stephen *and* Jake! :-)
Love ya!
xoxo
That's the thing. I don't really have a choice. If our financial situation would allow it, there is no way I will continue to work. The stars are going to have to decide for me. All depends on what job S. gets. Stay tuned!
Not that all babies are the same, but as the months go on (and you get closer to about 7-9 months), I really think working at home would be much easier. Right now, yes, it is very hard I'm sure. If you stayed in that town (thus, worked from home), can you get in home help for a few hours a day...just until he gets a bit easier? I swear to you, I actually have free time w/E. almost turning one. It's been going on since about March or so.
Now, as for the other option, of moving back "home" and working out of the office...hum. That's really hard. The very, very, very, very, very good thing is that your MIL will be there to watch him (which isn't perfect, sure, but you KNOW for a fact she's not going to do something horrible and end up on the news). That could be a wonderful thing. You'd have a little away-from-baby time, and heck, who's to say you'd be there for all of his firsts even if you stayed at home? K. and A. came running to me last week and said, "E. TOOK HER FIRST STEPS!" Ha! Look, I'm a sahm, and I missed her first steps! You know how I think of it? The first time I see it is the first time...so I'm just waiting for her to do it again! : ) I did get excited that the kids got to see it though! I'd rather it be them than anyone.
Don't know how much that helped but just wanted to let you know i'm thinking about you.
Believe it or not, I've worked through my issues with my MIL. She must have realized my issues on her own because the last 2 times I've seen her, she's been absolutely wonderful. Not at all possessive with Jake - she tells him how much his mommy loves him, etc. which makes me feel less threatened. We're all good now.
Thanks for the insight...that makes me feel a lot better! Honestly! And you are right...I might miss things anyhow, even if I am there all of the time. It would be ideal to be able to work part-time or give up working altogether, but we'll just have to wait and see. I think I'm more anxious about going back to work because I still feel like my brain is mush. Hopefully it's a "use it or lose it" kinda thing and there's still hope for me. We shall see.
Love you!
Great news about the MIL!!! I'm going to start praying for my own MIL miracle! : )
Isn't it funny how your brain really does feel like mush after the baby is born? I went back to work when A. was 3 and I still felt like my brain was mush! It took a week or so but then it got better. I think you'd have that brain mush no matter when you start back...it's probably what changing 5 million diapers does to us!
I could say "everything happens for a reason," but I never really believe that until after the fact.
I think the part time option sounds good. Keep us posted.
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