Sleep Deprivation, Stomach Viruses, and Uncontrollable Crying (Oh, My!)

I've been terrible about blogging since the baby arrived. Last night I found myself going through archives from when J. was a baby to get some clue as to how to deal with S.'s colic, and I realized how many milestones were documented for him. It made me decide to get back into blogging.

S. will be a month old on Friday, and this hasn't been an easy month. He was in the NICU for over a week because his lungs weren't getting enough oxygen - during that time, I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't drive, so I'd have my hubby drop me off at the hospital every day and I'd sit for hours, rocking him.

On the day he came home from the hospital, J. came down with the noro virus (a.k.a. stomach flu). As we were getting ready to leave the nursery with the baby, J. actually puked his guts out right there on the floor. He was sick for several days and I had to keep him home from daycare, which meant watching both babies by myself. While S. was spitting up on me, J. was having a blowout in his pants, and all the while I was praying that the baby wouldn't get it. My husband, sister, and mother-in-law all ended up with it, but luckily, the baby and I were spared.

A few days later though, I ended up catching a severe cold, which still hasn't gone away, thanks to sleep deprivation and stress.

From the moment S. came home, he seemed to have his days and nights confused. It didn't make sense to us because at the hospital, he was on such a regimented routine. Nearly three weeks later and I have come to the conclusion that he probably has colic. Some nights are worse than others, and last night was the absolute worst. There is nothing more desperate than a parent trying to get their child to stop screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.

I find myself crying quite a bit...my husband walked in on me crying this morning and freaked out, thinking I might pose a risk to myself or the baby. I had to explain to him that it's called the "baby blues" -- it's normal and it's a release. If I didn't cry, I might be much worse off. Of course, I know I'm at risk for post-partum depression and I am keeping an eye on things.

I really hope and pray that things get better soon...at least before I have to go back to work. I swear, I wish I could work part-time -- or not at all, but I know that right now, that's not an option, so I will keep hoping and praying.