Lately, I've been daydreaming about the idea of not having to work anymore. For me this is indeed a daydream, because my husband would shit a brick at the thought of losing my salary, but really, my heart isn't in my job anymore.
I know there are pros and cons to being a working mom vs. a stay-home mom. I know women who go crazy at some point during their maternity leave because they need adult interaction and want to be in a working environment. I also know women who love being home with their children so much that they don't miss the extra money they'd have if they worked (except when they want to buy something expensive).
My plan is this...when I go on maternity leave, I will assess how happy/sad/indifferent I am about going back to work. If I am happy to go back to work, so be it. I mean, it's not like I work in an office every day. I'd still be home with my baby -- I'd just have a lot of extra stuff to do. If I am depressed about going back to work, then the second my husband gets a promotion, I will look to go part-time until the day when I can afford to quit altogether.
I just don't see myself as a working mom. I used to - when I was in college I had all kinds of ideals about how I should keep my sense of self and my independence, yada yada yada. But to me, this career thing is over rated. I've had my success - I really don't want to go any higher - so why not start a second, more rewarding career?!?
I do have a plan for later...when the kids go to school. I would absolutely love to own a trendy consignment boutique, either for adults or kids. I sold Coach bags on eBay last year (real ones, not fakes) and had such a great time doing it. I only stopped because travel for my job got too demanding.
I still have plenty of time to figure all of this out. It will probably be 1-2 years before my husband gets promoted. In that time, I can hopefully finish my master's degree and get pregnant with #2. That's the plan.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
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4 comments:
That's such a hard question, plus it's near impossible to know what you'll want to do when the baby comes. Personally, I'm a control freak (nooo? really??? what a shock!), so I think I might lose my mind if I had to put an infant into daycare. Heck, I don't even trust anyone to watch my kids when they are infants, except for my mom (and you, Carolyn). But I'm a freak...so it's not like I can give you a rational opinion on this!
I can't remember if you answered this or not...but will you have help watching the baby during the day (either coming into your house, or bringing the baby somewhere)? The reason I ask is because it is so incredibly hard the first two-three months to get anything done besides baby stuff. I mean, forget clean clothes, cooked meals, etc. As far as work goes, that would really be hard...but then again, I am a wimp when it comes to this!!! : )
I will say, it is incredibly hard to cut back on things (for us anyway) because both G. and I looove to spend money. That's the downside of it. Earlier today I drove by a cute little boutique that I loved when I could afford it and thought to myself, "Wonder when I'll be able to go in there again." Friends of ours are building a huge house (a million dollars! Holy shit!), other friends we know are taking trips all over, etc. so it's very hard to be the ones who have to be so careful with everything we spend now. I'm not saying it's not worth it and all that disclaimer crap you're supposed to say...but you know what I mean. We're not good at budgeting, but we've had to learn.
In the end, think jen is right when she says you'll never regret the time you have with your kids when they are babies.
You're plan sounds like a good one-feel things out and do what you believe is best for you and your baby.
There is a Chinese belief that a baby brings into this world all that he/she will need.
If you choose to be a full-time mom, I'm sure things will work themselves out.
I'll be on maternity leave for 10-12 weeks and then back to work. Once back to work, I will probably work out a schedule with my boss so that I'm able to take care of the baby while Stephen is at work, and then concentrate on work when he gets home. I have no plans to put him in daycare (my baby, not my husband), but if it gets to be too much, I'll try and hire someone to come to the house.
I don't think I'd be able to quit work completely until Stephen has a job making what we make right now combined. That's where the promotion comes into play. Funny though how no matter how rich or poor people are, when it comes to children, they almost always find a way to make it work one way or another.
Thanks for the great advice...I love that I have you guys!!! :)
xoxo
I think it's great you're keeping an open mind. Every woman is different -- some really enjoy spending every moment with their kids, some need the adult interaction of having a career to feel fulfilled. I think you've really got a great idea to see how it works during your maternity leave. As far as daycare goes, I think it's almost good for a kid once they get to be a toddler and older if there aren't a lot of kids around. I myself am a stay at home momma, and I love it. I try to take Gracie to our local rec center every Thursday to have her play with other kids because we just don't know anyone here.
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