Question answered

Well, I wanted affirmation and today I got it. Let's just put it this way: I took a bath this morning.

We are now on 20 months of trying...20 MONTHS!!! I'm going to call my doc today to find out what the next step is because I am at a total loss. We did everything right this month - I took Clomid, I ovulated, I had IUI - the stars were supposed to be aligned but alas, once again something went wrong.

Somedays I think I just want to give up. What's the use in doing all of this stuff if none of it is working? Other days I want to fight to the death. I just don't get it. It happens so easily for some people, why not me?

To counter my sad feelings, I'm making a list of the things I am grateful for in life. If it works for Oprah, it can work for me:
*My amazing and supportive husband
*My family
*My friends
*My two "children", Costa and Cosmo
*The fact that I get to work from home
*The fact that because of the above, I can sleep until 8 every day
*My beautiful home
*My general health (minus the reproductive issues)

I know that life could be much worse. And it is for many people in the world. I'd rather be in my position than to get pregnant and miscarry, but yet, at least someone who gets pregnant knows they can.

Someday. I hope.