Insomnia

For some reason, I have the worse case of insomnia tonight. I tossed and turned until 1, when I decided to try and sleep in the guest bedroom. I then proceeded to toss and turn until 2, even thinking maybe I was hungry. I grabbed a Gatorade bar...which is unthinkable for me, being so late at night and all, and tried to sleep again. No dice. So I decided to get on the computer and play around until I was tired enough to sleep.

Well, it's now 3:23 am and I'm still wide awake. What is wrong with me? I think I am just so tense from everything that's happened in the last week. Anxiety is wearing me down.

Comparatively, I don't have very much to be anxious about. All of my stress comes from a combination of dealing with the horror of what I've seen on tv in the last week, and wondering what the future holds in store for all of us. Additionally, Stephen is flying out to Boston next week and I am meeting him there during the weekend.

I really want to believe that now is the safest time to fly...safer than it's ever been in the history of commercial aviation, but I'm still apprehensive about flying. It's a direct flight, so it's going to be a long one. I think I will take a sedative before I go.

Stephen, on the other hand, has no doubts or fears about getting on an airplane that's landing in the city where 2 hi-jackers changed the world so drastically. Hell, he's ready to get the fatigues back on and head over to the Middle East! A noble but unbearable thought for me.

3:31 am: Still wide awake. I have to be up for work in 3 hours. I'm going to be a big ball of sunshine. I just know it. Guess I'd better try again.

Goodnight. I hope.